Jacob Zuma - Meme

What a way to start the year right? Anyway, this isn’t a study of some sort, so put your expectations of numbers and stats aside and just enjoy the shade (read truth) being thrown around. The following five items on this list showcase how I see Kenyan devs behaving similarly to Kenyan tailors based on my experience with these two groups:

They Never Turn Down a Job

Oh, so you thought you were the only fish in his/her pond? Lol. Like a tailor who will not tell you, “No, I am too busy to make that shirt for you with your set timeframe,” a Kenyan dev will not turn down a job regardless of how busy they are. You know how your tailor is always knitting something, even when you first met that tailor, they were busy on their machine, same applies to our beloved devs. These people are always writing code, whether for leisure or a client and chances are when you met the dev they were writing code but somehow, they always have time for a new client and that takes us to number two.

Set Deadlines are Rarely Met

So you met your tailor, gave them the design of shirt or dress you want and they told you to come after a week, only for you to go back and the tailor is yet to finish your outfit, well, you guessed it, devs do the same thing. You will agree on a website, for example, they tell you that it can be done in a month and 30-days later, you get excuses as to why the work could not be completed within the set period or even worse, they dodge your phone calls.

Excuses, After Excuses, After Excuses

Speaking of excuses, these never run dry. From, “It was hard to find the material you wanted” from your tailor to, “The requirements of your website are complicated” from your developer, there’s always a reason as to why something was not done on time. There could be some truth to the excuses but what’s certain is that your work was not done because another client’s work had to be done or Mr Robot just got too interesting to take eyes off.

There’s Always a Dev Willing to Offer the Same Service for Less

Uhuh, that one tailor whose shop is literally next to your tailor, who is always willing to shave off a couple of hundreds to make the same outfit for you, we know we are always tempted to throw out loyalty every time we get that offer and the same applies to devs, well, not necessarily the proximity of shops – devs don’t have shops, they always meet you at Java *rolling eyes* but there’s always one dev willing to offer you a service for less, what they don’t tell you is that points two and three above will be the order of the day, that is, if they even get the quality right.

They Never “Not-Know”

Send your tailor that Emanuel Ungaro (Don’t ask who this is, I googled too) dress and he will swear that he can make one exactly like it only for you to be our next meme sensation.Tailor FailsWell, same applies to a developer. Whether you want a 3D header on your website or a magical wand on your mobile app, the dev is always willing to deliver, “I don’t know how to do it” is not part of the vocabulary. There’s a good side to it, when I was writing code, I was taught never to turn down a job because I don’t know how to but rather learn on the job or get someone who I can subcontract but that is where the problem starts, refer to number two and three above.

Dear dev or tailor rushing to the comment section, before you throw rotten tomatoes (in form of words) at me, take a minute to think; if I was right about even one point, sit down and be humble. No hard feelings by the way.